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Thursday, January 22, 2004

Hey there, boobies!

I'm a long time fan, but a first time writer, so please be kind (no padding necessary)...

So here's the thing: I'm currently leasing a 1996 Honda VLX. If I wanted to install a blowby switch for max capacity pickup, would it still be street legal?

Also: Maidenform or Vanity Fair? Thoughts?

Many thanks, and kind regards to both of you.

-Labia Menorah


Dear Labia,

Many thanks to you for writing us. Technically, you asked two questions but since this is our first letter, we'll let it slide.

Nothing gets us revving hotter than a fine motorcycle, except for possibly maximum capacity pickup. However, let us answer your question with a question: why the heck are you leasing instead of buying? And if you are leasing, why would you want to spend money upgrading your chop when you'll have to return it, anyways? O.K., that was two questions, but we hope you let it slide. Yuppies lease motorcycles, and yuppies on motorcycles make us sad, and when we are sad we sag, and no one wants that.

As for your second question regarding bra type, we'd like to select a third-party candidate not on the ballot. Sure, they cost a little more, but you're worth it. After all, since we are the first thing guys notice, it's best to make a great first impression!

If you'd like to ask Jaime's boobies a question on love, sex, the stock market, motorcycles, or anything else on your mind, e-mail us at boobies@fearsomecomedy.com. These boobies aren't just great looking, you know!

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Dear Jaime's Boobies,

What are you? Who are you? Am I actually writing a letter to real boobs? What's the deal?

Sincerely,

Confused in Columbus


Dear C in C,

Wow, that's a lot of questions! You are correct, I am a big pair of boobies, and all natural, I may add. I just want people to know that these boobies are for more than just to look at. We are great at dispensing advice on any topic, from our very unique perspective on the world.

If you would like to ask me a question, feel free to e-mail me at boobies@fearsomecomedy.com. Whether your problem is enormous or miniscule, size really doesn't matter. And that's the deal. Thanks for writing!

Love,

Jaime's Boobies

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